Marvelous Things

Christmas kind of sucked this year. Actually this was probably the worst Christmas I've ever had... I worked for the first time on Xmas and I was sick, but it wasn't too bad, since I wasn't too sick yet. I didn't really expect anything this year, which is good since that's what I got... but something about it was just so depressing. The only thing I could really be happy for was the fact that Tom and I are together and happy.
Usually I love the holidays but not this year.
I think the best thing I got was a $50 gift card to modcloth.com from a lovely friend that I've never met. (and a $50 visa card, but I've already had to spend almost half of it on medicine.)
But it makes me a bit sad to think that nobody I know in real life got me anything... I'm probably just thinking too deep. And it's true that I didn't get anyone anything (yet) but that's only because I don't get paid for another week. But even still... I'll spoil the people I like.

I plan to save at least $100 every paycheck, so that Tom and I can move by the time I'm off probation and can relocate to another theatre. At least that's the plan so far.

The rest of my checks will likely go to wedding stuff and bills.

Speaking of weddings... the other night I dreamed (dreamt?) that Thomas and I were getting married, but I was dressed in black and was unhappy about it but nobody cared. I don't think that it's a sign that we shouldn't get married or anything... but more like I feel out of control with picking out my wedding dress... because I had a particular type I wanted... but Tom said no. And I have to pick a 'modest' dress from the LDS wedding site. But the problem is that the only dresses I actually somewhat like are too expensive... and the ones in our budget are hideous. We kind of agreed on one.. but I'm still not very pleased with it. I'm settling, and it's getting me down. I almost don't even want to plan anymore.
I respect that he wants it to be modest... and I'm trying really hard to go by all of his rules... but I kind of think there should be some kind of middle ground, or something. I don't know... maybe I should just shut up.