02 August, 2010

BEDA - Count me in

BEDA - Blog Every Day August
Even though I already missed August 1st due to unforeseen circumstances... I'm certain it doesn't matter & I'll start a day late anyways.
I don't want to make a proper update since things have still not gotten well. But hopefully I will be accepted for disability which seems to be the only thing left to try at the moment. Even though I've virtually no support, I'm trying to push myself to care, do things, make updates, make more art, etc. It's pretty difficult when your will to give up is stronger.... but if I don't do this I'm afraid I'll have to accept failure, which may lead to bad things. But I can't focus on that right now.

Anyways, I'm trying to take a liking to photography. I can't motivate myself to take new photos lately (I even almost sold my camera....) because I couldn't see the beauty in anything. But since I lost a lot of weight, I feel a bit better about modeling so hopefully I can try and get back into that again.

Until then it's just editing old photos like crazy to keep my mind off of things.

Positive things:

Tonight: Watching The Runaways (by myself... ) ... I don't want to be alone right now, but I'm stranded and have no choice. I can only hope someone online keeps me company.
I need to start several art projects tonight anyways...

Tomorrow: I work (only 3 hours but at least it's something?)
Must see a movie too... Inception? Or Dinner with the Schmucks? Or both?
Get started with masquerade painting already!

Wednesday: I must work on getting SSD and I have a phone interview with a company that can help me qualify. Hooray!
Going to Santa Monica Beach for a photo shoot and maybe a (cheap) date with tom. Financial strain in life is getting in the way of love. How annoying.

Everything after that is unknown (which I haaaaaate) but hopefully the ebay items we sold will help!!! We don't need THAT much for rent, it's just... well, I lost weight.... involuntarily.. and I'll leave it at that.
Oh I need to get some dresses on ebay too... oye!

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