Numbing

I'm sorry I never knew you. I'm sorry we don't talk. But I've run out of things to say to you, probably. Or I'm just afraid. I never meant any harm to anyone. I only feel in the way. I only wanted a friend.
I hope I don't regret anything.

There is so much in my head but even I don't understand myself anymore. Thoughts and images blur together to keep me from feeling anything true. Maybe I've always been like this, maybe it's the drugs. But I'm still not numb enough. When will it be?